Moms The Word

March 6, 2007

Dear Me

Filed under: Life — mrslady @ 9:54 pm

This blog post comes from a great idea courtesy of  MiscMum.  It seems to me like an excellent opportunity for e-therapy, plus an interesting way to find out more about the people you blog with.  I found this at Rocks in My Dryer-you can also check out her post to herself , which is very insightful and moving.

Dear Me (April 2002),

Don’t change anything.  Even if you could, which it is my personal opinion that you can’t.  I can’t?  We can’t?  What is the grammatically correct way to talk your past self? Anyway, this letter is not to try to change what you do or where you’re going.  Everything happens for a reason-let go and let God.

I guess this is really more of an FYI.  Something to prepare you.  First-DON’T PANIC.  Remember those words and live by them for the next six years (or more, we’ll see).  Trust me, you’ll need them.  But this is nothing you can’t handle.  You’ve already been through a lot.  God has gotten you this far-and He isn’t going anywhere.  You made it through your mother’s didn’t you?  Barely, but you did.  [By the way, it takes almost four years to get over that.  If you were to do something different than I did the first time around, you might consider just cutting your losses at the point you’re at now.]

So here’s your sneek peek.  I know things are going badly with your dad right now.  Things get worse before they get better-but they do get better.  You’re right when you say later that it isn’t all his fault, but you have to realize it’s not all your fault either.  Eventually you will understand that you are not responsible for everything and everyone, although it is slow in coming.  Accept living on your own.  Accept responsibility for yourself.  Don’t waste time being hurt, eventually the experience will be for the best-although I know living on your own at 16 is rough.  I’ve been there.

I’ve been a lot of places-places you are about to be.  Some of them will be scary, and filled with people who will be doing scary things.  Remember that just because you are around them doesn’t mean that you are them.  You are better than that, and you know it-deep down. 

No matter what happens, don’t let anyone tell you that you’re not good enough, or strong enough, or that you aren’t doing enough.  Be happy with all that you are able to accomplish.  Someday it will work out.

Keep your faith in people, and your loyalty to those you love-it will be difficult at times, but will be very rewarding in the end.  Many many people in the next couple of years are going to let you down.  Many many times.  You will be in a lot of almost-hopeless situations.  The keyword is almost-because nothing is ever truely hopeless.  Remember that too.

In the next couple of years, you will meet a lot of people.  Remember David.  Remember Jill.  Remember Lin.  Keep them in a special place in your heart, but be ready and able to let them go-because they will go, whether or not you are able or ready.  Don’t be disappointed or angry, it’s just how things are meant to be.  You can love them anyway, even once they’re gone.

Though you will experience a lot of disappointment and hurt, from situations and from people, God is good and gracious.  One of your most long-standing and ferverent prayers will be answered.  During most of the things that you go through, your Hero will be with you.  You will know him immediately when you see him-don’t worry.  God has already placed him in your heart, and you are already in his.  Remember that because he is your Hero doesn’t mean that he is going to be perfect, and doesn’t mean that he is going to save you from anything.  But he will be the companion to your soul, the protector of your secrets, the champion of your needs, and the keeper of all that is fragile inside you.  All he needs in return is your loyalty and your adoration-and we both know he already has that.

One last thought of hope, before you go out there and face what is coming.  Someday, not too long from now, you will know the complete manifestation of love.  You will have your own son, a beautiful reminder every day of the reasons for your life and of the way that God loves you.  Of course being a parent will be hard-but it will be the most beautiful experience of your life, and all that you ever hoped it would be.  He is healthy and happy and a wonderful little person.  He makes you understand that all in all, God has truely blessed you.

Remember that through everything-no matter what happens, you are truely blessed.  Take care of yourself, and those around you.  Keep your faith strong, and your love as far reaching and  unconditional as possible.  You may not see it immediately, but it will return to you ten times what you put out there.  Be safe and be strong.

Love,

You (2007)

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