Moms The Word

July 9, 2007

What’s In A Name? *To Do About Tuesday*

Filed under: Pregnancy, To-Do about Tuesday — mrslady @ 8:17 pm

When you first hear that you are pregnant what’s the first thing you think?  Okay, so maybe not the first thing you think, but probably the most fun thought-what are we going to name the baby?!

I think it is quite possible the most purely entertaining part of having children [at least so far with my 3 year old].  You get to name a person whatever you’d like.  All those names that you wish you could have been named come out of the drawer and tried on your little one-and it is SO MUCH FUN

Everyone has their own method for coming up with names, and their own way of finding names that both they and their husband can live with.  My husband and I compromised-he chose the first name for a boy and I chose the middle and then vice versa with a girl [since we’re only 7 weeks and we don’t know which we’re having yet].  Of course, we gave eachother the right to veto names we couldn’t stand or considered borderline child abuse [leading to the shoot-down of both Winnifred and Lane-sad].  You also have to consider what horrible nicknames could be associated with the name you pick.  We steer away from things that obviously rhyme with unpleasant things, or that sound extremely odd….that could only end mercilessly in the hand of first graders.

But when you think about names that you DO like, what kind of criteria do you set?  My husband just kind of likes “the ones [he] likes because they sound good” and I suspect there are a lot of people that are like that.  However, being uber-neurotic about all things baby-I have a system.  I like to pick names with meaning.  They can either have a beautiful meaning in and of themselves [our 3 year olds name means “fire of God from deep waters of the island”] or they can have meaning because they are family names which may not always have great meanings of themselves, but have personal meaning because of the person/people who bear that name. [Our 3 year old’s middle name is the same as my husband’s middle and his dad’s first].

There are so many factors that go into deciding your children’s names-how did you decide yours?


May 22, 2007

Adventures in Pottyland *To Do About Tuesday*

Filed under: Good Ideas, To-Do about Tuesday — mrslady @ 1:41 pm

As of yet in my parenting experience, I consider myself to be successful.  My three year old son is extremely polite, a great learner and a generally happy and well behaved child.  Yes, I was definately giving myself and my husband a pat on the collective back for some excellent childrearing-in-progress.

But wait! Not so fast mommy!  What about potty training?

Never in my life have I been more frustrated with anyone or anything.  Someone once told me that potty training is like being pecked to death by a duck-slow and painful.  I am finding this to be a remarkably accurate account of the potty training experience, and I definately will admit that while I was pregnant and dreaming of my cute little cuddle bug it never crossed my mind that I would be cleaning his poo off of his carpet, walls, and hair [ew!] for several months of his life.

Alas, there I am.  I have been up to my eyeballs in bodily functions for longer than I care to think of, and nothing is more frustrating than your child soiling his way through EVERY PAIR OF PANTS HE OWNS in only one single day.  For those of you not potty training yet, that translates to roughly three loads of laundry, four baths [including tub cleaning], two “wipe downs”, three sheet/blanket/pillow (yes pillow!) changes, six carpet spot-cleanings, two toddler potty dumpings/cleanings, and five billion “Do you have to go potty?”s per day for an indeterminable amount of time.  It’s enough to make even the most patient and loving mommy think for one second that they should sell their child to the zoo-at least then he could poo wherever he’d like!

Fortunately, it does not go on forever-and you can remind yourself that someday the one who pees on your carpet will have smelly carpets of their own children’s making. Eventually [they tell me] children become successfully potty trained.  Rumor has it someday they will even wipe their own behinds.  In the mean time, what is a mommy (or daddy) to do?

*Ask around.  Everyone with children has had to potty train them at some point.  I recommend not only talking to people with adult children [your parents might have good tips!], but also people who are in the potty training trenches along with you.  Older parents might not remember what worked for them while potty training, unlike someone who is currently or has recently arm-wrestled their child into going on the potty.  You don’t have to use every suggestion, but when you’re at the end of your wits it’s nice to have some options that you don’t have to think of yourself.

*Talk to the Experts.  Talk to your pediatrician about what methods they recommend, or even what worked for their own children.  Pediatricians have hundreds of clients, so they are almost guaranteed to have good [medically sound] tips.

*Read up! Luckily for moms and dads who do not want to take their potty training toddler into public, you don’t have to go to the bookstore anymore if you don’t want to-online advice is just one Google away.  I like Dr.Green’s advice, and the advice on because they best align with my “no pressure” form of potty training.

*Vent.  Not to or on your child, but it’s definately worth talking about your frustrations.  Talk to your significant other (they’re in the same boat as you!), or to your friends and family.  While they may not like hearing about your child’s poo, they love and support you so they will fake it.  If your relatives get tired of all the potty talk, you can join online groups, like the ones on Myspace or Cafe Mom, which are not only a great place to vent, but can be an excellent place to pick up some more tips!

*Stay positive!  This is beneficial for not only your sanity, but also for your child.  If you stay upbeat and focused on the end goal [not having to clean poo off your refridgerator anymore], it will help you be more relaxed, which helps your child relax, which definately helps the whole potty training process.  Some tips I found about staying positive:

                             *Don’t listen to the Debbie Downers or the Competative Suzies.  So what if your nieghbor’s daughter was potty trained at birth? Your child will do it in their own time.

                             *Reward yourself (and your child) for successful pottying.  I personally don’t believe in candy as a reward, but use whatever works for your family.  We use stickers and/or later nap times as incentive for our son and will sometimes rent a movie or something for ourselves after a day of success.

                             *Take breaks.  Give yourself a couple minutes of down time to read an article (or a blog!) or paint your nails.  If your child potties in their pants in that five minutes, they were probably going to do it anyway. [Unless they tell you they need to go potty, in which case you jump out like a firefighter and rush them to the bathroom (as I’m sure you already do).]

Good luck, and whatever you do remember-someday this child will have to potty train their own child.  That’s a pleasant thought.

April 24, 2007

You’ll Never Guess What This Is

Filed under: Life, To-Do about Tuesday — mrslady @ 12:14 am

It’s a To Do About Tuesday!  That’s right ladies and gents-I am finally around to writing one again….how many Tuesdays have passed without one?  I don’t want to think about what a neglectful blogger I’ve been lately.

One of the things I’ve been doing lately is something called “Yahoo! Answers”.  It is something that came with my email account and I’ve been ignoring for a long time, but I have gotten sucked into it lately.  It probably has something to do with my resolution not to boss people around anymore… I just dispense “advice” to complete strangers.  Which I relish.

So there you have it-this To Do about Tuesday has excerpts from my nagging advice on several topics from the world wide message boards.  Enjoy.

Q: What is the difference between romance and love? 

A: Romance is flowers and candy and wine. It’s moonlight and candlelight and dinners out. It’s going dancing or to the movies.

Love is “No hunny, go back to sleep-I’LL wake up with the baby”. Love is coming home from work and having dinner on the table waiting for you. It’s waking up in the middle of the night when your grown wife has a nightmare to turn the light on and stroke her hair until she goes to sleep. It’s rubbing your husband’s feet after he spends his 10 hour shift sweating into his boots, and NOT making him take a shower first.

Love is putting the other person’s needs before your own. It’s sacrificing together to make your life together better. It is a selfless choice you make and an action you take every single day for the benefit of someone else.

You can have romance and not love, but if you have love you can’t avoid romance.

Happily in Love for Almost 5 years

Q:If you could do life over again what would you change?

A: would do everything exactly the same. Even everything I did wrong, and everything that made my life harder. Because I wouldn’t want to accidentally undo something about my life that I love. Who knows? If I change one thing I might not have met my husband, who I couldn’t live without. Or if I changed something we might not have had our son, the most wonderful beautiful child on the planet [I’m allowed to be biased, I’m a mommy].

I am glad to have done and experienced everything I have. The good things were accomplishments that I am proud of, and the bad things taught me invaluable lessons that make my life better every day.

The only thing I could never live with is regret.

Q:Why do people expect me [a teenager]to act like an adult, but don’t let me make adult decisions?

A:Here’s the way I see it-there are stages of growing up.

Stage one is when you are an infant. You are just learning information relavant to you-you are a person, mommy and daddy are people, up is up, down is down, etc.

Stage two is from when you are a toddler until you are about 12. You are gathering basic information-basic morals [right vs. wrong], basic education [colors, shapes, numbers, how things work], etc. In this stage you learn information that is relevant not only to you in the present, but to you in the future.

Stage three is from about 13 to about 20 (I say about because every kid is different). In stage three you are a teenager, and you are practicing the information that you have learned. You are discovering the consequences and responsibility of making decisions, however your parents are still there to protect you from the things that would hurt you most. There are some decisions that seem good when you are a teenager that have long range consequences which you are just not prepared to think all the way through. It’s not a bad thing-it’s just normal. Eventually, when you’re older you’ll have a little bit more foresight and will be able to protect yourself from the things that would hurt you most. That’s when you reach stage four.

Stage four is adulthood. There is a lot of room for improvement (obviously you’re not going to be as experienced at 20 as you are at 60), but you basically understand the concept that there are far reaching consequences to your actions, and that you should take as much information into consideration as possible before you go around making decisions. At this point, your parents stop telling you what to do and start expecting you to figure it out on your own. Eventually they won’t be around to even ask anymore (I’m an adult and that thought STILL scares me!).

The thing is, just like riding a bike or playing the tuba, you have to be taught and then you have to practice what you’ve learned before you will be able to do it on your own. I know that being a teenager is frustrating, but everyone goes through it and comes out on the other side a better person for it.

Be patient. Good luck.

Ex-Teenager, Mom of 1

Q: is having kids a good idea? see a lot of people who seem miserable with kids. also for a man having a kid can be a disaster since the woman could leave, take his kid, and then he has to pay her for it. …plus with kids you have to give your life to them instead of living your own. im 24 now and not planning on having kids right this second. but i wonder if i would even want to. i see these guys in the stores with kids and they look miserable. …what do you think?

A: That’s the problem-you’re looking while they’re in the store! Taking small children to the store is worse than being strip searched at the airport and walking on hot coals with bare feet COMBINED. Small children+Stores=Disaster. Of course they look miserable!

What you DON’T see is when they go home. At home, when their baby toddles over to them and says “I love you daddy” and gives them a big kiss-and how it almost makes them cry because it’s so beautiful. At home, when the baby falls asleep in his arms and he snuggles them close. At home when his child shares his toys with his siblings all by himself and how PROUD that makes him. At home, where he plays catch with his child, or watches his kids play and realizes there is nothing more amazing and blissful than the laughter of children.

If you could see that then you would understand why having children is the most awfully beautiful, tragically wonderful thing that could ever happen to a person.

And there you have it-To Do About Tuesday….the advice edition. 

March 13, 2007

To Do About Tuesday

Filed under: Family, Good Ideas, To-Do about Tuesday — mrslady @ 6:30 pm

3 years and 10 months ago I did something great without even knowing it.  Something that would change my life forever in the best way possible.  I was going to have a baby! 

Today’s To Do is all about my baby turning 3! 

Happy Birthday Monkey!!!!!


As every mommy knows it is quite the To Do when your child celebrates a birthday.  If you’re anything like me, you want to document everything, because each birthday reminds you that they will never be that small again.  On my son’s first birthday, I started something that is now a tradition, and I wanted to share it with my bloggy friends because I think it is an excellent idea.  All traditions are excellent ideas in my book.

Every year I write my son a letter.   About anything-what’s happened in the past year, what I am thinking now that he is ____ years old, how much he’s grown up, all the things he accomplished-I just write.  I intend to give them to him when he gets married so that he can get ideas about starting a tradition of his own with his children, maybe even the same one.

This is my letter to my son on his third birthday. [Edited to remove the names and personal information of the guilty, innocent, and people in between.]

Dear Monkey,

Every time your birthday rolls around I am more and more amazed how much time has gone by.  Maybe that’s because you just keep getting older and bigger.  This year was a very long but rewarding year. 

Last year at this time we were having your second birthday party and you had just started feeding yourself (not because you couldn’t before but because you can be the very definition of obstinant) and this year you not only feed yourself but know your entire alphabet, count to ten, know almost any animal and what sound it makes, help me get you dressed, are in the process  of getting potty trained, love to read, speak in sentences often, know some colors, and draw quite beautifully for a three year old.  You are remarkably smart and talented, but I’ve always told you that haven’t I?

This year we relocated from our lovely home town to a place that I realize now you will probably consider your home town.  It’s a very strange thought to think that you will not grow up where your dad and I did-that you may not even see the place that you were born except a couple of times a year when we visit relatives.  While you are completely oblivious to the move, we are still adjusting, though I’m sure we’ll learn to like it here.  Your dad is now working for a great company, and that means that I finally get to stay home with you-we’re very excited about that these days.

When I think about your third birthday, it makes me think about when you were born-that seems long ago even now!  I am sure that I have told you many times, probably in your teenage years, about when you were born.  What I said was true though.  You were 20 3/4 inches long and only 7 pounds 14 ounces.  You were so tiny you had to wear premie clothes home from the hospital and fit between my elbow and my finger tips.  Of course I was in active labor 23 hours and 47 minutes and you had a 14.5 inch head-you’ll understand when you and your wife have children.  All you need to know is that means I love you very much.  I was so proud of you, and amazed by you, and loved you more than I could ever say and that feeling only gets stronger every day.

I realize that you are getting big.  You are already over half as tall as I am!  You are forming your own likes and dislikes, making your own habits, and becoming more independant every day.  I know now that you are three I will have to make sure I stop calling you “the baby” in public, because you truely aren’t a baby any more.

However, in my heart, you will always be my baby.  You have been since the day you were born, and you will be for the rest of my life.  I am so proud of you, and I love you very much.

With all my heart,

Your mom

March 6, 2007

*To Do About Tuesday*

Filed under: Mommy and Daddy Stuff, To-Do about Tuesday — mrslady @ 10:17 am

 Today I am horribly behind, it being 10:05 Pacific Time right now as I type.  I apologize for posting this so late-I usually post the regulars (To Do about Tuesday, WFMW, and Frugal Friday) in the wee morning hours so that its available for everyone first thing in the morning.  I guess it’s technically still morning…….

Anyway, on to “To Do About Tuesday”.


Sometimes in the day to day hubub of kid wrangling and house keeping, men get lost or forgotten in the mix.  It’s easy to do, especially when the kids are requiring extra attention.  But there will always be something with the kids-they’ll get sick, or be grumpy, or have “one of those days” when they’re throwing fits at a thousand miles an hour.

 I always try to remember two things.

One: The child that I love and focus on so much is actually a gift from God and my other half, and I should show my appreciation to both on a daily basis.

Two: Before our son, there was us.  After all of our children are gone, it will just be us.  My committment to my children is to love them and teach them so that someday they will be able to have lives and children of their own, but my commitment to my other half is to love and follow him all of my life.

I am not saying that I love my son less than I love his dad, I am just saying it’s in a different way. 

Well DUH, you say, of course it’s different.  But think about it.  Sometimes, when you get really busy and distracted, you end up loving your husband (and treating your husband) the way that you do your children.  It’s easy to do when you’re overwhelmed or tired or extra busy.

So this week’s “To Do about Tuesday” is going to be a list of ways you can focus on your husband and show him that you love him.  I’ll start off the list, but if anyone has things to add, feel free to jot them here.  It’s always good to find new ways to tell your husband you love him.

Here are some things I do:

*Say the words “I Love You” at least once a day.  I know it seems simple, but after a while, it might not happen every day unless you put some thought into it.  Then eventually, it might not happen every week….and so on and so on. 

*Thank your husband at least once a day.  For anything.  Find something that you really appreciate, and let him know even if it’s small-thanks for taking out the garbage or thanks for being in such a good mood can go a long way to letting him know that he is appreciated.

*Give your husband sincere compliments as often as you can.  Men, in my experience, don’t like compliments for the sake of compliments like women often do.   But a sincere compliment can make his day. 

*Do something just for him every day.  Make his favorite dinner, or buy his favorite magazine for him [I can never go wrong with a car magazine].  Even something as simple as putting his slippers by the door, so he can wear them right when he walks in lets him know you are thinking of him.

*Do something romantic.  I think women too often expect men to do the romantic part.  [Hey, I’m guilty of that too.]  But after talking with my other half, he assures me that if I start it, he’ll finish it.  Somtimes he just gets too busy to have that kind of initiative.  So buy your husband flowers or a card or his favorite candy.  Put the kids to bed and watch a movie, even a late-night TV movie.  (Sometimes those are the most fun.)  Talk about your days, and go from there.  [My favorite.]

*Ask his opinion and/or ask for his advice.  Even on something little.  All you have to do is instead of asking your mother, or your girlfriend, or your blogging buddies-ask him.  This lets him know that you respect his opinion, and respect is very important to men.  Men need respect like women need affection.

*Write a love note.  I have started emailing him once a day with little things that I love about him.  It’s a good way to show that you are thinking of him, and I’m sure husbands appreciate that while their stressing at work.  If you have time to blog, you probably have five or six minutes to write him an email.

These are just my ideas, and the things that I do.  How do you make your other half feel special?

February 27, 2007

All The Fun You Can Eat (To Do About Tuesdays)

Filed under: Fun Stories, House and Home, To-Do about Tuesday — mrslady @ 2:47 am

I tell you what, it is a near-super-human ability 3 year olds have of knowing when you’re really tired. I don’t know what happened the other morning, but my son woke up at like 8 am (after me going to bed at 330) and it was ON.

I crawled into the living room with my blanket and my pillow and layed on the ground in front of the tv. I popped in Veggi Tales, and tried to “rest my eyes”. Of course, in three year old this means “mommy wants to play!!!” So he stands above me and does that siren yell (you know the one):


To which I open one eye and say “what?”-in the nicest voice possible.

To which my child responds “no”!

To which I close my eyes.

To which my child jumps on my back elbows first and screams “MOOOMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYYY!”

To which I open both eyes (giving him the strict mommy face) and say “Yes. Aidan. Mommy. WHAT?” A little louder, but trying to keep my cool.

To which my son says “sorry mommy, love you” and blows me a kiss. I feel much better, tell him I love him too and close my eyes.

At which point my son jumps with full-body-force onto my knee caps, and starts bouncing up and down going “sorry mommy. sorry mommy. sorry mommy. sorry mommy….”

I say in my bestest-calmest-not-crazy voice “SORRY is for accidents baby. How can mommy help you?”

To which my son responds by starting to sniffle. Then he starts wandering around the house moaning-not crying, just this infuriating monotone“uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhhhh. *sniffle* wahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh”-and driving his truck on his hand, on the wall, on the doors, pretty much everywhere except the carpet. Which would normally bug me, but at this point I don’t really care because I am so tired. But then he comes back.

In his whiniest voice he says “mmmmmooooooooooo”

“AIDAN DOUGLAS WHAT DO YOU WANT?!” This time in an extremely irritated voice-but not yelling. I try really hard not to yell.


“Okay fine. Here. Better?”

“Thank you”

At which point I close my eyes and he throws his cup on the ground (spill proof YAY!) and starts moaning.



“You HAD a drink, but you threw it on the ground”

The logic escapes him.


“Son, if you want a drink you will pick that right back up and drink your juice. If you want to go back to bed, you will stand there and continue to cry. Make a decision so that mommy can rest now.”

At which point he starts to cry.

At which point I go crazy. Not dangerous crazy. Just quiet crazy, in my head. I shove my head in the pillow and scream silently.

Then my son crawls down beside me and snuggles up to me and goes to sleep. I am not frustrated anymore but SHOCKED how he can go from cute to crazy to cute again in a matter of only 2 HOURS!

Which brings me to To Do about Tuesdays. This week: How to keep a 3 year old occupied when you are far too tired to run like a crazy person or explain yourself over and over.

What to do? One word-playdough. I know, it sounds crazy. Go with me here.

You roll up like a quarter of a tub of playdough into a ball and turn them loose on the kitchen linoleum. [Not recommended for carpets!!!!!] If your kids are anything like my son, they will be facinated by the ball of playdough itself-and the fact that it is a ball-for about a half hour. Then they discover it squishes, much to their delight. It is pretty much home-style self entertainment, AND it’s non-toxic for all of those who dare to try.

This is also a good rainy day activity, and can even double as educational when you get your energy back. Make shapes, talk about colors, it’s tons of fun 🙂

If you don’t want to buy playdough (which I don’t because you can make it so easy and so cheap) you can also make it a science experiment and make your own!

To make Playdough::
3 cups flour
1.5 cups salt
6 tsp cream of tarter
3 tbsp oil
3 cups water
Food coloring

Pour all ingredients into a large pot. Stir constantly over medium heat until a ball forms by pulling away from the sides. Knead the playdough until the texture matches playdough (1-2 minutes).

Stored in plastic container, it should last for at least 3 months. Or your toddler can just eat it right away. [Not recommended in large amounts, or for animals~yet makes for some very interesting poo/vomit.]

Have fun and rest up!

February 23, 2007

The Regulars

Filed under: Blog Business, Frugal Fridays, To-Do about Tuesday — mrslady @ 12:34 am

I have decided to committ two days of the week to a regular blogging topic.  I think this will be fun, but if not, we can always scrap it later :p

The topic days are going to be Tuesdays and Fridays.

Fridays will hereafter be known as “Frugal Fridays” (assuming I’m not stepping on some sort of copywrite here).  Every Friday I will post an idea of how to cut expenses.  This is something I find personally relevant, as I am both cheap and broke.

Tuesdays will be hereafter known as “To-Do about Tuesday”.  These posts will be about fun family activities and/or organizational skills and hints.  I am the first to admit organization is a journey and I’m not ahead of anyone in that race.  Let’s do it together.

Both topics are absolutely open for posting your own ideas and responses.  Have fun 🙂

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